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It’s Friday and I’m Sad
Just a few weeks ago, I was content with life. Things couldn’t have gone much better. But humans are greedy and when once you realized there’s an emptiness, there’s no going back. I’ve been trying to find something to fill that emptiness, but have not had much luck. It’s Friday and I’m sad.
Have you realized how colorless the world can be sometimes? How TV shows and movies you usually enjoy seem boring? How time moves ever so slowly? How exercising doesn’t seem to make you tired anymore? How 5 minutes into video game and you just want to shut off your console? The only thing that seems to make me feel anything anymore is rewatching my favorite movies and animes, ones that pack a lot of emotional punch. I have to say The Twelve Kingdoms and Rurouni Kenshin has kept me sane for the past week, but even those are slowly losing their power.
Update: I don’t know how mom’s do it, but my day (or night) is 100x brighter. Thank you. 🙂
Sleeplessness
If you’re wondering why I’m up, at work, and posting a blog entry for the 1st time in so long, it’s because for the 1st time in ages, I wasn’t able to fall asleep. I went to bed at 4am, twisted and turned for 3 hours and finally gave up. I woke up, watched the latest episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, scanned through some old favorite movie clips, took a shower, and headed to work. %$#@! I forgot to turn off my alarm clock, which is set for 10am cause I had a PT appointment at 11.
Anyway, there are several reasons I can think of that may be the cause of this.
I was using the elliptical pretty much before going to bed. I’ve occasionally exercised right before bed, and never really had this issue. If anything, exercise would make me more tired. Though throughout the night, I did feel pain in my calves. Did I overwork my legs w/o knowing it? I also dropped below 160lbs for the 1st time in 6 months. I clocked in this morning at 158.6lbs.
I drank a full bottle of Lipton diet citrus green tea during exercise (so right before bed). I believe it has caffeine, but tea has never really caused me to be unable to fall asleep. It did cause me to use the bathroom twice in the middle of the night. Though I’m pretty sure if I fell asleep, that trip could’ve waited till morning.
I was hungry? I highly doubt this as I was stuff tonight with food, but my stomach was growling non-stop. Maybe I ate something bad, but my stomach isn’t really hurting, just growling, but not feeling hungry? What the %$#@ does that mean?
Nervousness. I met … for the first time tonight. Well 2nd time, but 1st time I got her name. %$#@! I’m going to screw this up.